REGULAR CAST

• Nathan Fillion as Captain Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds
• Gina Torres as Zoë Alleyne-Washburne
• Alan Tudyk as Hoban “Wash” Washburne
• Morena Baccarin as Inara Serra
• Adam Baldwin as Jayne Cobb
• Jewel Staite as Kaywinnit Lee “Kaylee” Frye
• Sean Maher as Dr. Simon Tam
• Summer Glau as River Tam
• Ron Glass as Shepherd Derrial Book

GUEST CAST

• Christina Hendricks as ‘Saffron’
• Benito Martinez as Corbin
• Erick Passoja as Breed

CO-STARRING

• Bob Fimiani as Elder Gamman
• Alex Stemkovsky as Bandit #1

SYNOPSIS

Dressed up as married settlers, Mal (and Mal’s even got his pretty floral bonnet on) and Jayne take on a group of bandits on a planet, along with the help of Zoë and their guns. After killing the bandits, who have apparently been robbing the settlers on the planet, Triumph, they celebrate with the rest of the group and some of the settlers. Jayne receives a rain stick from the group’s leader, Mal gets a nice flower hat, has some wine (though he and Jayne look like they don’t need much more), and dances with a pretty girl. In the morning, they take leave of the planet hurriedly with word of the Alliance being on the way. While storing the new supplies away on the ship, Mal comes across a stowaway – it’s the same girl he danced with last night, and when asked who she is, she claims she is Mal’s wife.

Zoë and Jayne are the next ones to find out – Jayne is jealous (all he got was that “dumb-ass stick”), and Zoë finds the situation so funny that she summons the rest of the crew to mock and laugh. Mal continues to be puzzled by the whole situation, and bothered by the fact that his new wife keeps crying whenever he says something remotely hurtful (though he doesn’t mean to be hurtful). Book uses Simon’s encyclopedia to look up the marriage ritual of the Triumph settlers, and lo and behold, it involves the placing of a flower wreath on the groom’s head, drinking of the wine, and the joining of hands in a dance. So, unbeknownst to him, Mal did get himself hitched the night before. Mal then proceeds to inquire about divorce, at which point his new wife runs off in tears.

Mal heads after her, very disturbed by the whole situation, and tries to comfort her. He tries to explain to her that he didn’t mean to get married, and tries to teach her to stand up for herself (since she’s pretty much a weakling and seems to let others step all over her). He tells her she can stay on the planet Serenity is headed for – Beaumont. It’s a nice planet with a variety of work for her to choose from. She tells him she’d be a good wife, and Mal replies that he’d be a terrible husband. She insists on making him dinner however, and as she heads off, she gives him her name – Saffron.

Shepherd Book tells Mal that divorce requires dispensation from Saffron’s religious leader and that he’ll send a wave to ask for it immediately. He then lets Mal know that Mal will burn in the special level of Hell (you know, the one for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre), should he choose to take sexual advantage of Saffron. Mal has no plans to do anything of the sort, and lets Book know. Book is pleased and heads off to set up a room for Saffron in the passenger area, but not without a reminder about the “special Hell.”

In the dining area, Mal eats the delicious meal Saffron has prepared for him – fresh bao, and cider to drink. Wash and Zoë come in, Wash thrilled by the food, but unfortunately Saffron only made enough for Mal. Wash and Zoë tease Mal a bit, though Zoë seems troubled by Saffron’s servant-like watch over Mal, and she’s not thrilled at Wash’s joy over fresh bao either. Mal claims to be not hungry, and leaves the rest of his meal for Wash, and runs off quickly to find a place to hide. He ends up in Inara’s shuttle, but Inara isn’t very happy to see him… she seems very distraught over Mal’s marriage, but Mal isn’t sure if it’s because he got married, or because he doesn’t plan to remain married. He doesn’t stay long in the shuttle, as it just turns into a verbal fight.

Upon leaving, he spots Jayne – holding a huge gun and looking fearsome. But it’s not what Mal thinks… Jayne wants to trade the gun (his “very favourite gun” which he calls Vera) for Saffron, as he doesn’t think Mal deserves her. Mal informs Jayne that Saffron is not a piece of property and refuses to trade. Jayne is disappointed, but accepts it. Mal then runs into Saffron, who heard the whole exchange, and tells Mal she’d rather stay on Beaumont and work than have to be with Jayne. Mal tells Saffron a bit about his childhood – he was raised on a ranch by his mother and several ranch hands… something he doesn’t usually talk about.

Elsewhere in space, some shady looking fellows on a weird looking ship are checking out some pictures and data on Serenity. It seems they’re planning to trap the ship in some sort of “net” they have onboard. They’re keeping on eye out for the ship when/if it comes their way.

Zoë and Wash get into a small tiff on the bridge when Zoë comments to Wash about the insane cling-y-ness of Saffron to Mal. Wash makes some comments that Zoë takes as a defence of Saffron and heads off to bed in a huff, leaving Wash alone on the bridge.

Mal heads down to his quarters, looking ready to prepare for bed, but Saffron’s there waiting for him – naked. Mal attempts to avert his eyes and explain to her that he doesn’t plan to consummate their marriage, but Saffron continues to try to get him into bed with her. She tells him how thrilled she was when she found out they would be wed (apparently her friends were married off to mean and blubbery men), and that since she is married, she is now a woman and will take his leave to be bold. She comes up to him, and though Mal tries to resist, it’s a bit too much for him, and when she kisses him, he kisses back. He tries to break away and explain to her why he can’t do this, but all of a sudden, he looks a bit peaked and passes out. Apparently the wily Saffron drugged him with her lips. She looks down at him and walks out of his bunk.

Wash is still on the bridge when Saffron comes up to visit him and begins her seduction routine on Wash. Thankfully, Wash is very faithful to Zoë and resists completely, and very kindly. He starts to head off the bridge and is promptly whacked in the back of the head by Saffron, and Wash is thus rendered unconscious. Saffron sits down at the terminals, pulls out some wires here and there, shuts down the power, and then heads out, welding the bridge door shut behind her.

As she is heading towards the shuttle, she runs into Inara who’s trying to figure out what happened to the terminal in her shuttle. Saffron begins her seduction scheme once again – this time on Inara. But Inara doesn’t fall for it, and tries to get Saffron to tell her who she is… Saffron simply answers “Malcolm Reynolds’ widow,” which gets Inara worried. Saffron hits Inara, runs off to the other shuttle and escapes. Inara, meanwhile, heads towards Mal’s quarters. Zoë has found Wash and is attempting to revive him, as Jayne tries to open the door to the bridge. Inara finds Mal unconscious in his room, but realizes he is alive and in her joy, kisses him fully on the lips. Unfortunately for Inara, the poison is still on Mal’s lips and she passes out next to him.

Mal awakens surrounded by the crew. Simon informs him he was knocked out by a narcotic on Saffron’s lips – something called the “goodnight kiss.” Inara is also awake and claims to have tripped and hit her head. Everyone is too worried about the ship and what’s going on to realize that isn’t what happened. The crew heads up to the bridge where Kaylee and Wash examine the damage done by Saffron, which was done quite well and will take a while to fix. Inara tells the others that Saffron was well schooled – as a Companion – which means she had training from the Academy. When she tells them Saffron tried to seduce her as well, Mal is quite curious as to whether or not Inara succumbed; she informs them she did not. Mal protests that it was only natural that he succumbed. After all, Saffron was a professional.

Back on the scavenger ship, the nasty looking fellows there seem thrilled because Serenity is now headed there way… seems Saffron directed the ship there before killing all the systems. The scavengers prepare their nets for the arrival of Serenity. On Serenity, Wash and Kaylee have managed to get some of the systems back up and discover that they’re headed for the electromagnetic net. Mal and Book know they can’t run into the net… either it will kill them, or they’ll be gassed by the scavengers. Wash and Kaylee are still unable to get back navigational control, so Mal has to come up with another plan to get them out of harm’s way. He orders Zoë to prep the space suits and tells Jayne to get Vera.

Mal and Jayne suit up, and even Vera gets a nice suit to wear (she needs to be surrounded by oxygen to fire). Simon shows them a picture of what the net looks like… there are six breakers controlling it, and Jayne should only have to hit one in order to disable the net. Mal opens the airlock door, and Jayne holds Vera in her suit… he fires and hits his target right away, disabling the ship and the net. Serenity sails through to safety. Shortly after, Kaylee manages to get control of navigation and Serenity gets ready to go visiting.

On a snow covered planet, Mal bursts into the room Saffron is staying in. He holds Saffron down with a gun, but he doesn’t plan to kill her. Seems he only came to get back his shuttle and let Saffron know that if she does try to play him again, he will kill her. Saffron tells Mal that he held out against her longer than most men. Mal asks Saffron one question – what her real name is. She pauses for a second and Mal knocks her out… since she would have lied anyway.

Mal goes to visit Inara on her shuttle. He tells her what a graceful woman she is. She thanks him and he informs he that he doesn’t believe she just tripped and fell. She attempts to protest, but Mal doesn’t want to play. He wants the truth. Inara admits she didn’t just fall and hit her head… she looks rather relieved that Mal knows that she kissed him. But Mal tells her, “I knew you let her kiss you.” Inara can only stare in wondrous disappointment as he exits.

TRIVIA

CONTINUITY

GOOFS