

Season 10, Issue 17
Written by Victor Gischler
Pencilled by Cliff Richards
“Translation: I am not going to like this.”
Faith
The evening air carries a calm breeze over London. Outside St. Cuthbert’s Prep School, a stretcher is wheeled toward an ambulance. Detective Brandt watches as the body bag is zipped shut.

He turns to Faith, still in her gym kit. He’s cleared the school, searched it top to bottom with his team. There’s only one victim.
Faith offers a sarcastic congratulations. One victim. Brandt says he knows how she feels, but the Slayer snaps back, too harsh to take back. “Do you? I’m supposed to be a Slayer, and that girl, Meredith — she was killed right under my nose! You wanted me on the inside so I could get close to things and help.” She glances at the body bag one last time. “Look how that turned out.”
Brandt shifts the subject, asking after Mary. Faith’s certain she didn’t do it. “She was crying when I found her, so I gave her a hand mirror and told her to fix her makeup.” Brandt’s worried. The other student killings happened off campus — this one didn’t. The public will panic. They haven’t even told the press there’s a body. Just a strange accident. One more, and the school will close.
Faith scoffs. Maybe that’s the best idea. But Brandt shakes his head. If the school closes, the vampires scatter. “If we know where they are, we can make some kind of plan to trap these vampires.”

Faith sighs. “Looks like I’m still on gym duty.” She agrees — on one condition. The moment she says it’s over, it’s over. She won’t lose another kid. Brandt smiles at her concern. He wishes they had a better plan. But this is the only one either of them can think of.
Later that night, the cold air curls over the city. Faith sits cross-legged on the floor of her blank apartment, a laptop balanced on one of her still-full moving boxes.
Angel’s voice crackles through the screen. He can’t picture her as a teacher.
“Gym teacher. Volleyball and hygiene films,” Faith cracks. “But hold on a sec. You’re telling me B and Spike are an item again, and you think the big news is I’m posing as a teacher? Deny much?”

She smiles as Angel grimaces. “What? No, it’s fine,” he says, a little too quickly. “Why wouldn’t it be fine?” A pause. “Don’t you think it’s fine?” She answers with a smile. He changes the subject.
She asks about Archaeus. Angel says they’re preparing to track him down. His dreams are still connected — and the school is definitely involved. Worse, Archaeus controls a portal to his Hell dimension. Giles says it could bring through enough demons to turn their world into demon Disneyland.

Faith frowns. How does this affect her and the students? Angel shrugs. If Archaeus is interested in the school, the killings aren’t random. Faith promises to be careful. Angel asks after Fred. Faith assures him she’s fine. Spike yells something in the background. Angel apologises — he has to go. He wishes her luck and says if she needs backup, he may have an idea…
The next morning, despite being told to stay home, Mary returns to school. She walks through the gates with fire in her eyes. She strides through the corridors, focused, unreadable. She spots Annabelle and her followers — and launches into them.

She tells them she had to come. Had to say it to their faces. Leave her alone. They killed Meredith — she’s convinced — and she wants them gone. Annabelle cups Mary’s face. “The kitten has claws now?”
Annabelle denies it, repeating the police’s accident story. But once Mary’s gone, her flanking girls lean in. Maybe they should shut Mary up permanently. Annabelle isn’t worried. “We just need to help her recognise the opportunity staring her in the face. If she doesn’t, we’ll simply force the issue.”
In the cafeteria, Faith moves through the lunch line. She pauses at one station and asks how the day’s going.

Fred, hairnet on her head and ladle in hand, does not look pleased. “What’s good? I think it’s a tie between this glamorous hairnet and how I smell like grease. Do you know how long it takes to make bangers and mash for four hundred kids? Next time we go undercover, I’ll be the teacher and you can be the lunch lady.”
Faith asks if she’s heard anything. Fred sighs. You’d be amazed how little one hears while washing dishes. Faith ignores the jab. The kids are on edge since the “accident.” She tells Fred about Archaeus. Tells her to keep a stake handy. Be ready. Fred offers her jell-o.

At a table, Mary watches Meredith’s boyfriend, Shane. He doesn’t know what’s happened. Mary feels bad for him. Annabelle and her cronies approach. If Mary likes him, she should go for him. In fact, they insist — she can have him. If she joins their club. They won’t ask nicely again.

Faith interrupts. She asks Mary if they’re bothering her. The girls scatter. Faith sits. Asks why Mary’s here when she was told not to be. Once again, she assures her she can talk to her. Mary brushes it off. Says she doesn’t want to fall behind. A lie. Faith’s probing gets too close. Mary bolts, promising to go home.

Outside, Annabelle and her girls smoke by a fire exit, discussing Mary and Faith. They agree — Mary has to be taken by force. They spot a figure nearby. Annabelle dismisses it. Just the lunch lady. But Fred, listening, has heard enough — and used her compact mirror to confirm what they are.

Shane finds a note on his locker. If he wants the truth about Meredith, meet tonight. Signed: a friend.
Fred warns Faith about Annabelle and her friends. Faith nods. She’ll check on them after class. “It’s time to bench the coach and let the Slayer out to play.”

Elsewhere, in a dark gymnasium, Shane calls out. Mary steps from the shadows. He’s not surprised. He asks what she knows. Nervous, Mary blurts it out — Meredith is dead. He turns to her. He already knows.
As Faith dismisses her class, she heads through the corridors toward her office. Something moves in the corner of her eye. She follows — through a slammed door — and is ambushed. Annabelle and her girls strike, knocking her to the ground.

Annabelle appears, fangs bared. Usually they respect teachers, she says. But they want to know what Mary told her. They have plans for the girl. She kicks Faith into the lockers — and is stunned when Faith gets back up. Smiling.
Faith turns, fast, and stakes one of the girls. Dust.

Annabelle and the others flee. They shift into mist. Faith gives chase — but the mist hits her, just solid enough to knock her down, not solid enough to hit back.
One vamp materialises, pinning Faith to a locker. She wonders aloud how Slayers taste — then stops. Looks down. An arrow juts from her chest. She explodes into dust.

Fred stands behind her, crossbow raised.
Annabelle snarls at the interference. She transforms again — this time into a bat — and vanishes into the night.

Faith tells Fred she told her to stay out of harm’s way. Fred grins. She can handle herself. Illyria’s been quiet lately. Besides, she thought girl power was the mission statement. Faith smiles. Thanks her for the save — and asks for a favour.
In the darkened gym, Shane asks Mary if they can be honest. Has she told anyone what happened to Meredith? Mary says the police told her to stay home. Shane smiles. Has she told the staff? The new gym teacher? Mary shakes her head. But the police have been asking questions. They know enough.

Shane tuts. He was afraid she’d say that.
His face shifts in the moonlight. He grabs her shoulders. Turns. “Why is this little mouse the one we want?”
Behind him, a group of students — all vampires — part to let someone through.

Drusilla steps forward. Her voice is a lullaby laced with knives. “Our little Mary is special,” she says. “She’ll be doing us a special favour. I’m sure she’ll be happy to do it.”
She stares at Mary with thick, black eyes.
“Once she’s one of us.”
CONTINUITY
Angel tells Faith about Spike and Buffy’s new relationship, which he learnt about in Old Demons (Part 1). He also describes the attack of the Morituri demon assassin from the same chapter. This scene takes place during Old Demons (Part 2).
Drusilla was last seen in Daddy Issues (Part 4).
COVER GALLERY


WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
ISSUE
Those Who Can’t Teach, Teach Gym (Part 1) /
Those Who Can’t Teach, Teach Gym (Part 3)
STORY ORDER
Those Who Can’t Teach, Teach Gym (Part 1) /
Those Who Can’t Teach, Teach Gym (Part 3)









