THERE IS NO BETTER FEELING THAN KILLING A SLAYER. DEFEATING SOMEONE WHO EXISTS TO END YOU. WHO WAS CREATED TO BE BETTER THAN YOU.

IT’S LIKE SPITTING IN THE EYE OF THE UNIVERSE.

UNDEAD YOU MAY BE. BUT YOU’VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE.

THE SMELL OF HER FEAR. THE TASTE OF HER BLOOD… THERE’S NO DRUG, NO SENSATION, NO EXPERIENCE THAT EVEN COMES CLOSE…

“AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU WANT MORE THAN TO FEEL IT AGAIN.“

Archaeus, tall as the ceiling of the abandoned warehouse, considers his new position. This world is tawdry, filled with vermin. That’s how he perceives them – as little more than insects to be squashed.

But as he looks at Spike, holding Buffy tightly in his grip, he can’t help but wonder if he’s misjudged his offspring. As Dawn yells her sister’s name loudly, Xander yells at Willow, who’s blasting the demon from above, and having little effect. “I’m trying!” she yells, firing a bolt of lightning at Archaeus, but he deflects the magic easily. He turns to her now, snarling, giving Willow his undivided attention as he swats her away like a fly hovering around his meal.

“AND EVEN IF I LET YOU, IT WOULD HARDLY BE SO SIMPLE. MY ESSENCE INHABITS YOUR FRIEND. HE IS FILLED WITH A CRAVING FOR BLOOD, FOR THE HUNT, THAT NEITHER YOU NOR HE CAN DENY.“

Buffy wedges the Scythe between her and Spike, barely holding him back and pleading with him to remember who he is, to shrug off his progenitor’s influence. “He’s wrong, Spike. You have a soul! You can fight this! Please. I don’t know how to stop you without killing you.” She pulls the Scythe away from his chest, not using it as an offensive weapon, but as a shield. Not protecting herself. Still protecting him. The demon’s voice continues to reach Spike however, who gets ever closer to Buffy.

“REMEMBER HOW IT WAS. EVERY TIME. THE POWER… THE ECSTASY.“

And Spike does. He remembers killing Xin Rong during the Boxer Rebellion in 1900. He remembers retrieving the coat from Nikki Wood, casually regarding her body as nothing. But as he commits these deeds in his head, remembering every drop of blood spilt, his past self turns and sees an image of Buffy watching him.

In reality, a well timed blow from Buffy to his chin, wakes him back to sense. Archaeus, still dealing with Willow, can see the influence the Slayer has on his child. He sticks Willow with another of his spines, this one slashing straight against her side. She screams once more. “DAMN YOUR SOUL!“, the demon yells at her and then turns his attention back to Spike.

“REMEMBER WHAT YOU ARE, WILLIAM THE BLOODY! A HUNTER. A DRINKER OF BLOOD.” He extends another spine, this one slashing against Buffy’s forehead. She manages to flip Spike around, straddling him, pinning him to the ground, but her blood trickles from her forehead, landing dangerously close to Spike’s mouth.

The vampire roars at her, no semblance of what Buffy knows in his eyes, and he overpowers her easily.

“Buffy, he’ll kill you!” Dawn yells out at her sister. “You have to fight back!”

Xander looks at the battle from Dawn’s side as an arrow leaves her crossbow, dusting the bat coming towards her. He looks at Spike with regret. “Buffy, she’s right.”

Buffy flips off the ground and kicks Spike into the air. She hesitates. “I…” Spike lands, inches from her, snarls and roars again. Buffy swings her Scythe, the whistle strangely absent. “I’m sorry.”

Spike charges her, and as she’s about to stake him with the wooden side of the Scythe, she changes her mind, yelling defiantly. “NO!”

She flips the Scythe over in her hand, levelling it straight like a shield again, and Spike misses her throat with his fangs, catching them on the handle of the Scythe instead.

“I won’t hurt you,” Buffy says, looking at the angry vampire. “We’re not there yet. I’m not your enemy, Spike. We care about each other. Trust each other. Which is why I’m putting this down.” And with that, Buffy simply drops the Scythe, Spike less than a metre away from her.

“Have you gone mad?” Giles is incredulous. His voice is strained, but angry.

Buffy takes a step closer to Spike as Archaeus observes. He has the hint of something on his jagged bone jaw, the faint glimpse of what one could call a smile.

Dawn is just as horrified, watching Buffy carefully, shaking her head.

Buffy steps now, only one more inch between them. She looks into Spike’s eyes, blood trickling from the wound on her head. “I can’t kill you. And I know you won’t kill me.”

She places her hands on his chest, smiles at him and then whispers to him. “Remember who you are, Spike. I saw it. I saw you.”

The vampire comes closer to her, his fangs still bared. “You’re better than this. I’m betting my life on it.”

Spike creeps closer, his fangs closing on her neck. He can feel the blood pumping through, almost taste it. It would be so easy. His eyes show Buffy no emotion and they look away from her and down at her throat. She whispers, shaking, to herself. “Oh, no.”

Spike’s thoughts rush in that moment. He remembers it all again. Xin Rong. Nikki Wood. All the emotions he felt then, leading to how he feels now.

Rush. Taste. Alive. Thrill. Shame. Power. Excitement. Victory. Validation. Sorrow.

And then he thinks of Buffy.

Love.

Spike screams out into the warehouse space, his cries echoing off the walls. “No!” he roars, pushing the Slayer to one side, enraged. He picks up the Scythe and swings it. To Buffy’s surprise, now it’s whistling. “I’m not yours! NOT YOURS!”

He slashes Archaeus in the chest, drawing blood and causing the demon to scream loudly. The Scythe whistling around his head, Spike wields it like an expert. “I am no one’s puppet. Never again.”

Snapping through one of Archaeus’s spines, Spike notices that the demon has gotten smaller. He yells at the assembled Scooby Gang loudly. “Sorry for the moment of weakness. Won’t happen again.”

Willow snickers. “Didn’t doubt you for a minute.”

But Willow has to move as Spike is thrown, into a nearby column, which cracks under the force. Spike quickly recovers, grabbing his sword for another strike. The demon regards them now, starts to get angrier. “FOOLS. YOU OVERSTEP YOUR STATION! I AM A LORD OF HELL!“

“Yeah, well…” Buffy says, reaching the Scythe. She twirls it, smiles at the sound and then stands in front of the group, holding the Scythe and ready for war. “We’re family,” she says, and Archaeus just stares at her.

“THEN DIE TOGETHER.“

As Spike, Buffy and Willow race back towards the demon, weapons and magic prepared, Xander looks at where Spike hit the column, watching as it starts to splinter and crack. “Load bearing columns, all along the walls…”

Firing a blast of magic back at Willow, Archaeus taunts the witch. “THERE ARE WAYS I PREFER TO DO THINGS. DEBASING MY ENEMIES, LOWERING THEM TO UTTER DESPAIR, IS MY PREFERENCE.” He brings his large fist down, hitting the ground and causing it to shake, almost knocking Buffy and Spike off their feet. Another magical beam sends Willow careening back to the wall behind her.

“BUT SIMPLY SLAUGHTERING THEM IS EMINENTLY ACCEPTABLE.“

Xander has moved to Willow, and she’s holding her side, blood seeping through makeshift bandages wrapped around the two stab wounds. “Willow, you okay?”

She winces at him. “I’ve felt better.”

“We’re outclassed.” Xander says, looking back. Willow’s face is full of sarcasm. “Y’think?”

Xander smiles. He looks at the ceiling. “We need to get out of here. Regroup.”

“I wish I knew how,” Willow says, sighing.

“I do,” her best friend grins.

Spike is, at that moment, raging towards Archaeus again, who’s yelling at the vampire. “EVERYTHING YOU ARE, SPIKE. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, YOU OWE TO ME. NOW WATCH, AS I TAKE IT ALL AWAY.” He slams a fist at Buffy, who this time is knocked back towards Xander, who yells instructions to the rest of them.

“Everyone back off! Form up on me!”

Spike turns in surprise. “This is no time for your Sun Tzu crap, Harris!” But Buffy gently touches his hand.

“Do it. We’ve got nothing better.”

As they both move and race towards Xander, the demon roars behind them, following. “Fine,” Spike says as they flee. “I hope we’re not just giving this blighter easier targets.”

Willow and Giles, powered up with magic, are in place in seconds. Willow chuckles. “More like making him one!”

Archaeus hears her, expresses doubt and laughs at her. “SILLY LITTLE WITCH. YOU KNOW I CAN DEFEND AGAINST YOUR SPELLS.“

“Yeah,” Willow says, her smile seen in the glow in her eyes and from her hands. She flicks her wrist and a beam zaps like a laser from her fingertips. “But the walls just kinda sit there and take it.”

Giles commands the team to run, as his and Willow’s blasts take out the columns, bringing the entire warehouse tumbling down. As the demon shrieks in annoyance, he turns to the fleeing group and proclaims loudly that this is not the end. He specifically yells at Spike.

“YES, RUN, WILLIAM THE BLOODY. YOUR FRUITLESS ATTEMPTS TO DENY YOUR HERITAGE AMUSE ME.“

“FOR IN TRUTH, YOU HAVE NO HOPE OF ESCAPE. NOT YOU… NOR ANY OF MY CHILDREN.“

A few seconds later, any more of the demon’s words go unheard, as the warehouse implodes completely, a loud bang echoing across the San Francisco Bay. A bright light cuts through the debris and smoke. The Scooby Gang emerge from the rubble, protected in a magical bubble, courtesy of Willow.

Once they’re clear, the group stops to catch its breath. Xander looks back at the now completely demolished warehouse. “Not exactly a controlled implosion, but it did the job.”

“You think that killed him?” Dawn asks.

Xander shakes his head quickly. “Oh, not a chance. But it’ll take him a little while to dig himself out. Buys us some time anyway.”

Giles nods, but his tone is glum. “Yes. I only wish I had some idea what to do about it.”

As the gang begin their walk home, Spike calls Buffy to his side, and they doddle at the back, their conversation hushed. “Slayer… About what happened back there…”

“It’s okay, Spike.” Buffy says calmly, reassuring him. “You shook it off. I always knew you could.”

“Yeah. He took me back to my old self’s greatest triumphs. The bad old days. I’d like to tell you I was horrified to be there, to be him, but it’d only be a half-truth. There was the old feeling too, the thrill of the hunt. That’s the dirty little secret. Having a soul doesn’t make you forget the rush.” He looks away from Buffy, ashamed. But then he looks back at her, and smiles.

He then tells her that it was the sight of her in his head, seeing his past, that shook him out of it in the end. Her feelings. Her love.

“That demon is right. He owns part of me. But, so do I. Whatever else happens from here, if you want nothing to do with me after what you saw, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.” Buffy stands on tip toes and places her hand on the side of his face.

“I didn’t give you anything you don’t also give me.” She then takes him by the hand as they start to walk after the others. “Every day.”

Shortly afterwards, having showered and changed, Xander finds himself outside Dawn’s bedroom door. He knocks gently. “Dawn… You got a minute?”

As he opens the door, Dawn smiles at him from where she’s sitting at her desk. “Sure.”

He comes in and closes the door. He takes a deep breath. “We almost died tonight. We almost die a lot, I know that, but… Well, you look at Andrew. Finally figuring out who he is and being honest about it. That’s really brave. I helped with that.”

Dawn looks at him and nods, silently urging him to continue. “And Willow breaking up with snake girl because she realised she’d grown, changed and Aluwyn never would. Both she and Andrew faced how they really felt…”

Then she puts her hands up to stop him. “Xander, I know how you feel. That’s not the problem. The problem is how I don’t feel. I’m not asking you to lie or be dishonest. But if you keep reminding me you love me, and I don’t love you anymore, it’s not going to help us be together. It’s…”

Xander looks at her. She’s come to his side, touched his arm, but he barely noticed. “Be… Oh, oh. No. You totally misunderstood where I was going. Dawn, we need to move on.”

Dawn looks slightly crestfallen for a minute, Buffy’s words about being too late echoing in her memories. “You… We… I get it. It must be annoying as Hell, waiting for me to figure out everything. Even I’ve just about had enough of me.”

Xander jumps at this and raises his voice. “Enough of you? No! Not at all. But we’ve sort of been in this weird limbo. Not together, but not not together, and it’s not working, so to Hell with it. I like hanging out with you. You seem to like me. We like each other. Let’s just hang out. No pressure, no gigantic burden on ourselves to rekindle an old romance. That’s when things get weird. So let’s not do it.” He looks at her, expectantly.

He goes to her, looks her in the eyes and holds her in his arms. “We’ll just be friends. If something more happens naturally, great. If not, well…” He looks at Dawn, realisation on his face. “It wasn’t going to be because we forced it to, either.”

“Are you sure?” Dawn asks, unsure herself, perhaps. “I mean everyone thinks I’m crazy for feeling like this. Buffy said…”

Xander smiles and holds her tighter. “I adore Buffy, but what she thinks doesn’t matter. We don’t need to follow anyone’s agenda. I like being with you, just watching T.V. or walking, or doing nothing at all. So let’s do that. It’s more than enough for me.”

Dawn smiles, tears in her eyes. She asks if this can work though – what happens if they want to see other people, for example. What happens then, she asks?

“Not something I’m in a hurry to do,” Xander says, gesturing. “They always turn out to be giant bugs or fish ladies or something.” Then he gestures at her. “But if you decide to, it’s okay. I won’t be weird about it. Figure out what you want, at your own pace.”

“That’s really wonderful of you,” Dawn says, but still needs assurance. “But you’re sure you’re okay with this?”

“Hey, you know me. I’m cool as a cucumber popsicle.” Xander smirks. “To tell you the truth, it scares the Hell out of me. But sometimes what scares you is the right thing to do.”

In the living area, sat on chairs, Giles is addressing the others about the battle with Archaeus. “We can’t do this alone. Archaeus is too powerful. We barely escaped with our lives. If we’re to even have a hope of defeating him, we will require help.”

Spike scoffs. By his reckoning that’s limited to D’Hoffryn and Willow’s snake lady. Willow coughs. Tells him that’s not the likely option right now.

Giles concurs. “And while I suppose we could call upon D’Hoffryn, he is a demon himself. An unfailingly political one. He will take the side of whoever he expects to win. As matters stand, that is not us. Besides, given Archaeus’s parting words, we have a duty to warn…”

Spike moves suddenly, interrupting Giles and raising his arms in annoyance. “Fine. Come on. Let’s make the bloody call.”

As Giles and Spike leave the room for his apartment, Buffy looks straight at Willow. “This is going to be awkward, isn’t it?”

“Well, there was always going to be nuclear levels of awkward whenever this particular reunion happened, but yeah.” Willow smirks. “You’ve managed to time it so that the awkwardness will be maximised.”

In Spike’s apartment, as he picks up a phone, Giles looks at him. “I understand how you must feel.”

“Bollocks, you do,” Spike says and then turns to look Giles in the eyes. “She always picks him. Always.”

Giles points out that the reverse is also true. “In point of fact, most recently she sent him away.”

“Yeah, for killing you,” Spike says, with sarcasm spewing forth in his tone. “And now you’re alive again. Thanks a lot.”

“Spike, let me offer some advice,” Giles says, trying to sound more adult. He fails. “Try to imagine it coming from the mature man I was, rather than the squeaky-voiced child standing before you.”

Spike chuckles, but nods. Giles carries on. “The best way for you to approach this situation is to show your best form. Rise above any insecurities. Conduct yourself with the utmost maturity and grace.”

“Right,” Spike says. “Maturity and grace. Got it.” He walks off and Giles can just hear the numbers dialling, the ring tone and, patiently, he waits for Spike to begin.

“Hello, wanker.”

With this Giles shakes his head and closes his eyes. They never listen.

Spike is leaning against a wall, waiting for a response.

On the other end, in his home town of Galway, Ireland, Angel answers the phone. He doesn’t say hello. He’s already seen the caller ID.

“You’d think I would’ve blocked your number by now.”