Bouncing off Earth’s upper atmosphere, the small, oval shape seems to bounce and struggle to maintain it’s orbit. As it steadies off, the interdimensional craft streaks, with a rapid descent, onto the dark side of Earth’s moon, it’s struts extending to secure a soft landing on the lunar surface.

The craft has landed here on the request of its captain, Spike, who has no wish to explain his orders to his beloved cockroaches. He’s still upset that Buffy chose to stay in San Francisco, and despite his naming them and maintaining affection for the creatures in his employ, Spike is simply not in the mood.

As one bug, named Sebastian out of fondness, tells their leader that they’ve landed on the dark side, he asks the vampire why they’ve come to such an out of the way location, but Spike tells him to “Get bent.” As Sebastian asks if he needs anything else, he’s told to ‘sod off’ and dutifully continues on as Spike walks off without another word.

Another bug, named Elizabeth, comes to Seb’s side and explains that Spike has never been like this: he is different now, more disturbed. Sebastian ponders his colleague’s concerns and agrees to keep an eye on Spike. “And take steps as needed.”

Walking towards his part of the ship, whiskey bottle in hand, Spike stumbles in a hatched doorway.

If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s some bloke moping about, all weepy. So attention, universe, all that knobby boo-hoo nonsense, is right out, you hear? He looks around the room, Buffy’s jacket still on the chair where she left it. Which is easier said than done when everywhere you look is some reminder of her.

He reaches down for Buffy’s hair brush, still full of hair. Spike wonders whether it’s hers or robot trickery, or maybe it doesn’t matter. He asks himself what he’s going to do next, but his only idea is to knock back more of the whiskey. He’s made his way now to the Solarium, a place he had planned to dedicate to Buffy had she come with: her place, a place of light, he had hoped.

He remembers back to his last conversation with Buffy, wondering if he said the right thing: “I don’t want to be the dark place you run to when things aren’t working.” He sits on the chair, clutching his whiskey. “It’ll always be darkness, for me luv,” he grumbles to himself. My sort can’t take the light, can they? He doesn’t notice Sebastian and Elizabeth watching him. Elizabeth looks at Seb with great alarm: they must confer. “This situation is no longer acceptable.”

As they race down a corridor, she tells Seb that if Spike is going to act this way, then he is in no state to be their leader and they must take action! Sebastian is enraged: “It is not for you to question his supreme highness,” he tells her, pointing at her in anger. Elizabeth sneers: “It is not just me who questions.” As Seb asks her for more proof of restlessness in the crew, Elizabeth reveals dozens in the corridor, all who agree and all who will do what they need.

Spike is back to wandering the ship. He throws a cigarette over his shoulder, which bounces off Sebastian’s shell as he tries to walk behind a staggering Spike, trying to keep up. “We must talk Master,” the insect begs, but Spike tells him once again that he is not in the mood. This time Sebastian raises his voice slightly, telling Spike that the crew have noticed that he is becoming obsessed with darkness and is entering an unhealthy brooding phase.

Spike is not keen on the idea of being seen as brooding. Seb tells Spike that steps must be taken to rectify their situation and Spike pulls another cigarette from his packet. “You’ve gone buggy, Bug,” he tells Seb, who is almost knocked over by another cockroach, rushing around behind him.

Spike then notices that the ship is moving. He gave no such order! He yells at Sebastian, who calmly tells his boss that the ship is now moving back to the light side of the moon, on his orders.

Spike is furious that the bugs would disobey him, telling them angrily that they’ve forgotten who the master of the ship is. They escort him through the bowels of the ship, where numerous others join them, carrying Spike aloft.

As they march down the corridors, Elizabeth tells the crew in front of her to open the doors to the Solarium. As the doors open, Spike can’t help but notice the intense sunlight edging through towards them as the hatch opens towards the bright lunar surface.

Spike starts to object, starting to become concerned. Elizabeth turns to Seb, who in turn tells Spike that steps have been taken to restore the natural order. As Spike watches in horror, the hatch is opened and sunlight streams into the compartment. He shrieks in horror, but no one hears him on the vacuum of the moon.

Watching the craft are two creatures, flanked by henchmen. One resembles a shark, the other some sort of amphibian. As they emerge from the dark side, they point at the craft, hunger in their eyes.

Later, Seb is trying to apologise. He expects to be punished for opening the hatch, but Spike, sitting on a deck chair, shirtless, drink in his hands and shades on his face, cardboard sun on the hull, doesn’t seem that bothered now. Spike tells his cockroach assistant that it’s fine. “But you crawlies did have me worried for a moment. Thought you’d gone all mutiny on the Bounty.”

The cockroaches, it seems, were unaware that they were supposed to tell Spike about the necro-tempered glass in the Solarium, but Spike doesn’t pay much attention, enjoying the sunshine. As Sebastian explains that the crew felt he was falling into a dark place, they used a magazine Buffy had left behind as a template – they tried to create a ‘sunny and restful’ place for him. Spike says that paradise doesn’t really exist, but people want to believe it does.

Why do we fall for the chicanery? Why do we fool ourselves? Because we want to.

With that final thought, Spike gets up and tells Seb to throw the whole lot out. Seb is confused: was the light not warm and comforting? Spike retorts that it’ll take more than a cardboard sun to make this paradise – he wants them back to the dark side, where it’s truthful and not made up.

Seb is disappointed, but Spike stops when he hears something. “I hear only the cacophonous clamour of my own failure,” Seb says, shaking his antennae unhappily.

Looking through the now darkened glass, Spike spots a huge amphibius creature, resembling a frog, leaping at them, it’s slimy tongue extended, it’s suckered hands on the pane. It frightens the crew, who ask Spike what it is. “Moon frog?” is his best guess.

Spike orders Seb to suit up and take a squad outside – to shoo the creature away – before it damages the ship!

As the cockroaches prepare to engage and open the hatch, Seb gives them orders to move as soon as it’s open. When the hatch opens however, the moon frog, bigger that it seemed earlier, leaps into the hatchway, filling the exit! The cockroaches lose all semblance of bravery and retreat back into the ship, declaring to all that can hear them that the ‘amphibapocalypse’ is upon them!

Spike exits the Solarium, admitting in his thoughts that he quite liked it: But nobody likes feeling suckered. There was a time when I thought Buffy was pregnant and I could take care of her and maybe we could play at a normal life. Talk about fooling yourself. He lights a cigarette, takes a drag and then readies himself to attack. Before he has time to put the smoke out, an alarm starts to blare above him.

A group of cockroaches come running towards him, stampeding. When he asks the lead bug what’s happening, the bug screams loudly as he races past Spike: “All is lost! It is the prophecy! The night of the Long Tongues!” As Spike turns, Elizabeth tries to yell a warning, but the frog’s tongue comes out, wrapping itself around her carapace. Spike yells that nobody eats his bugs, as he charges towards the creature, Elizabeth being flung to the deck in the process. The tongue wraps itself tightly around Spike’s wrist.

“First off, gross,” he says, looking down at the tongue. “Second, I hope you like spicy food.” He strikes a match out on the creature’s tongue and it roars in pain, retracting back from Spike, but using it’s tongue to throw him into the glass behind him.

As the creature advances on him, Spike picks up the empty whiskey bottle and smashes it. “So, you like rough, eh Kermit?” he jokes and ducks to avoid the tongue yet again. He lands a punch on the bottom of the creature’s jaw, which draws blood. “Now, to send you back to that lily pad in Hell where you came…”

Spike’s final line is stopped by a fist to the back to his head. It doesn’t knock him unconscious, but it does put him on his knees. “Ouch,” he says, starting to get up.

The shark-like creature from earlier is towering over Spike. “Sorry about that Blondie, but we need your ship.” He looks down with a grin. “And we don’t need you.”

Spike growls, his fangs unfurled and without a word, savagely attacks the newcomers. Initially, he’s quite successful, taking two henchmen out with a punch, but finds himself trapped once again in the moon frog’s sticky appendage. The demons hit him in the face and across the head with a mallet. Now that Spike is out for the count, the shark tells the others that the bloodsucker has learnt his lesson. He won’t be a threat to them.